I had to speak in Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. I'm so glad that it is over with, but I think it did actually go pretty well. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. I was a lot more nervous when I had to teach Relief Society a couple of weeks ago. Yes, that's right teaching and talking within a couple of week of eachother.... I should be good for atleast a year now, right? lol Anyways, I thought some of you might be interested in reading my talk. It was really meaningful to me because of the topic. My hectic, and discouraging week last week was what inspired me to talk on what I did. I don't know, maybe there are some things in there that can help some of you out like it did me.... and I just think this is a great way to record these type of things.
The theme that I was given to talk on is Families. I always think that the Lord is mindful of lessons that we need to learn. In preparation for this talk, I looked up various articles, stories, and different things and noticed that the material I was coming up with kind of went a long with how I had been feeling this whole week. This whole past week I have been asking myself, “Why is being a mom so hard?” Starting with Mother’s Day and continuing with every other day this week, my role as a mother, wife, cook, cleaning lady, chauffer, tutor, nurse, counselor, and or psychiatrist, seemed pretty much insurmountable. I remember before I had children I had it planned perfectly in my mind… I would have a spotless house, I would have children who helped out, were well behaved and never fought. We would have regular family prayer, and scripture study, and the kids would sit still through all of it. I would have the energy to bake and do crafts with them, while at the same time keeping myself in top physical shape…. Because I of course, would want to look my best at all times. Each child would have a scrapbook or maybe even two for each year of their life. And above all, the gospel would be the focus of our home, and because of that- our family would always be happy and peaceful. Well, I am here to tell you that my perfect plan did not turn out so perfectly. During these trying weeks, when I am wondering if all of this is really worth it, I have to remember that in many ways our families are one of the most important things that we will ever work on in our lives. Anything that is worth having takes much work and time to acquire… and striving to have a happy, spiritually and physically healthy family most certainly takes never ending sacrifice and work. There are so many things that can pull at and distract us from our families… it is important for us to recognize and address those things. Whether it is our jobs that distract us, or our volunteering, or our need to keep the house spotlessly clean at all times, or our hobbies, or maybe we are depressed or not taking care of ourselves, and because we are not taking care of ourselves, maybe we don’t have the energy that we need to focus on strengthening our family. While having hobbies, volunteering, church callings, and other things are all important, it is so important for us to remember that a balance needs to be found in each of these areas. It is easy to lose the balance that we need… I believe that Satan is using feelings of being overwhelmed, fighting, contention, negative media and discouragement as tools to destroy families. We’ve been told that the family is under attack like never before, and we are certainly seeing this all around us. One interesting example of this that I found is by a French woman by the name of Corinne Maier. She recently published a book entitled “Forty Reasons not to have children.” A mother of two herself, she says that she really regrets having children and these are just a few of her reasons:
-Childbirth is torture.
-You will become a mobile feeding bottle.
-You will struggle to continue having fun yourself.
-You will lose touch with your friends.
-You will have to learn a language of idiots to communicate with your children.
-Your children will kill your desire.
-Children weaken the bond between couples.
-Children are expensive.
-You will be duped into thinking that there is such thing as a perfect child.
-You will inevitably be disappointed by your own child.
-You will be expected to be a mother before you are a professional and a woman.
-Families are a nightmare.
-Staying at home to take care of your children is breathtakingly boring.
-You have to choose between motherhood and professional success.
-When a child appears, the father disappears.
-There are already too many children on the planet. Children are dangerous. They will take you to court without a second thought….
After reading these obviously negative spins on motherhood and having a family… I was actually quite offended, and immediately felt guilty for feeling so discouraged with being a mother myself, as I have been this past week. I was immediately able to come up with just as many positive and absolutely rewarding reasons to become a mother and too have a family as she was to not.
In a talk given by Julie B. Beck the Relief Society General President, she states, “Mother’s who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are “becoming less valued”. In the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets, seers, and revelators who were sustained at this conference have declared that “God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.” President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “In the eternal perspective, children- not possessions, not position, not prestige-are our greatest jewels.”
“Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve, Sarah, Rebekah, and Mary, who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child, the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection. Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.”
In the Doctrine and Covenants 88:119 it gives us some very specific areas in which we can make goals and work at certain things that will help us in our family lives. It reads: “Organize yourselves: establish every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.” I realized after reading that scripture, that if we did all of those things, there would not be much room for any of the negative influences that are trying to destroy our families today. If we make our homes a house of God, we are making it a place of refuge from the world for our families and ourselves. By working on each area mentioned in that scripture we can work towards establishing a true house of God. The first three, prayer, fasting, and faith go together. As we pray, fast, and practice and strengthen our faith we will be building a stronger relationship with our Heavenly Father. It is important that we make our homes houses of learning. Regular Family home evenings and scripture study are two things that I would like to be better at in my family. Living the gospel and being examples to each other is another way that we can develop a house of learning. Of course having a house of order is important, and sometimes easier said than done. It seems like a clean home leads to less contention and less fighting, and the spirit can more freely dwell in a house free of these things. And most important is to establish a house of Glory. It is vital to recognize God’s hand in all things. It is important to give thanks for the blessings in our lives. By living the gospel and acknowledging God’s hand in our lives, we are giving glory to Him. It is important to remember our utter reliance on Him.
As I have studied and pondered all of the stuff I read in preparation for this talk, I have been prompted to ask myself, “Do I teach my children to be kind to others in the way that I treat them? Do I teach them the value of hard work as I work beside them? Do I teach them the importance of the gospel, by making the gospel a central part of my life and my family’s life?” And the answer I came up with is, “Not always”, but I most certainly came away from this feeling like there is hope and there is help and guidance and that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is always there, waiting for me to ask for His help. And finally to answer my first question, “Why is being a mom so hard?” which I am going to rephrase, “Why is it so hard to be a family in this day in age?” The answer is simply that if Satan was able to destroy the family unit- he would be that much closer to accomplishing his goal of preventing us from returning to our Heavenly Father. So, he is, of course going to do everything that he can do to pull families apart…. And one of those things that he does is making us feel like I did all last week. I come away now with a renewed sense of hope that things can be better if I will rely on the Lord to help me with the improvements that I need to make, and with the things that we need to do to be strengthened as a family. I would like to say that I am so thankful for my family, for my Husband, who I love, and who I do not express my gratitude to near enough…. And for my children, each of them with their little individual personalities, brings something so unique to our family and I love each of them very much. I do have a testimony of this gospel. I love my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for the tremendous sacrifice that He made for us… it is because of Him that we will be together as families forever. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Don't we all look hot in our hair nets?
